Quick update

Last time I posted, Eric had just died. I had the intention of memorializing him through posts on this blog. Unsurprisingly, this impulse didn’t carry through into consistent action, much like … every other time I have the intention of keeping the blog up to date. Maybe this one is even more understandable than the usual reasons. Right after Eric died, I had trouble remembering any positive experiences with him at all. This was, of course, bullshit. This was my mind trying to protect myself from the enormity of the loss by minimizing it. But it did lead to a Read More

Happy memories of watching TV together and other things

Eric and I liked to binge watch TV shows together. Truth be told, as a rule, I was too antsy to sit through more than one show a night, but sometimes he was the antsy one, while I got into it and wanted to watch three in a row. It was tricky to find a series that we both liked. Most recently, it was Sense8 and then Elementary. We binge-watched The Americans, all the seasons out so far, a few months ago. We’d sit on the couch. The love seat, I guess they call it. Typically he’d have his side Read More

I never liked the story of Job

The day Eric died, I had a therapy appointment. In fact, given what he told me before I drove him to the ER, it’s likely that he was already experiencing intermittent symptoms of a heart attack while I was talking to my therapist. My car was at the office parking garage. I had walked about 10 blocks to the appointment, then stopped on the way back to get a B12 shot, and all the while, he had chest pain and his arms hurt and he knew something was wrong. He was afraid that if he had a problem with his Read More

Don’t make any decisions

If you want to read about some of the many horrible decisions you have to make when your spouse dies unexpectedly, expand the spoiler text below. If not, skip on ahead to the funny stuff. Well, I think it’s funny, anyway. My aunt and uncle packed up their Suburban and their dog and were at my house about ten hours after I called them. The next day, the three of us went to the mall to pick out some clothes for Eric’s memorial. I had nothing suitable, as a hoodie and slip-on Merrells seemed a little off, even to me. Read More

My husband died

My husband, Eric, died on Friday Feb 16, 2018. It was completely unexpected. Many, many people mourn him. I plan to post memories of Eric here on the blog as they come to me. Let’s hope I do a better job of this than I have of other plans for the blog. Eric’s obituary Yesterday, I skied with our Sunday lesson group. This is that story. I am so grateful that all of my friends and family, including his parents who of course are also my family, encouraged me to do this and not to cloister myself in grief. That Read More

TR: Downhilling at Keystone

@skiNEwhere and I seem to be a good pair – he’s more comfortable with wooden features; I’m more comfortable with drops. I have a fair amount of coaching and technical riding knowledge under my belt, but I get hung up on how scary a section looks; he will try a lot of things that I initially want to walk, and then I give some pointers and in the process often decide to try it, too. We push each other in good ways. I had my little-used GoPro attached to my handlebars and taking photos every two seconds. It was a Read More

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